Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and genders. Gay and lesbian relationships were once considered taboo, not anymore. People are open-minded these days. This receptiveness has helped and encouraged homosexual people to come out of the closet and be true to themselves and others. Yet many people find dating someone from the same gender a little tricky. You would ponder if the girl/boy you have a crush on is into same-sex relationships or not.
Today, we are focusing on lesbian relationships. Many lesbians who just embraced their sexuality have questions on their minds. They are confused, innocent souls venturing the world of same-sex relationships. Women have been taught from an early age that they are supposed to be paired up with men only, and there’s no otherwise. They have been told to think and act stereotypical, and anyone beyond that needs a mental recheck. That’s stupid! We can now choose to love any gender we want, that’s our right! But that doesn’t mean I’m throwing shades at straight people. All I am saying is your life, your choice. Don’t let anyone tell you whom to choose to love. With the pressure from society and people being judgemental, lesbian first dates can feel intimidating. But fret not, we are in your support and to help you out.
Where to meet the lesbians
Lesbians aren’t still out that much the way we think. Only the bold personas have come out and spread out the message. Others are still closeted, and this creates problems. Not many women come forward to ask a girl on a date because they fear various things – how the girl would react, how the society will perceive them, how their family would see them, etc. So, you see, even though lesbians are more or less everywhere, they are unapproachable. So what to do?
The number one tip for approaching a girl is to befriend other lesbians. That way, you’d be more outgoing and social with girls. With that said, you can make straight girls your friends cause they might have a friend or two who is also a lesbian. They might introduce you to the girls and might even arrange a lesbian date. That way, you wouldn’t feel awkward if a third-person introduces you to the girl. Having a girl gang will help you find your cutie. Go to bars, clubs, pubs, etc. and speak to the guests, the bartender, everyone. The more you make connections, the higher the chance of finding your sweetheart. You can even try to brainstorm and see if there’s any lesbian that you personally know but ignored.
Also, note that you need to build trust in your friendship. You can’t just jump on someone you just met and ask them to find someone for you. It would seem like you are using her to get your purpose served. Develop a good bond before proceeding. That way they will be more helpful to you.
Online dating sites tips for lesbians
Here are some online lesbian dating tips for lovers who want to get the best out of online dating platforms.
Find a site that suits your preferences
The first thing you should keep in mind is that you are searching for a dating site/app that caters to LGBT clients. Many sites put a label “women friendly” on them, yet it doesn’t mean it’s exclusive to lesbians. Nowadays, you can find sites that would help you find out lesbian matches.
Keep an honest and intriguing profile
Upload a cute picture of yourself. A profile with an authentic image is twice as likely to be taken seriously than one without a picture. Write an honest bio of yourself, talk about things you are proud of. Show them a glimpse of yourself in the description. Make sure your writing is genuine, and you haven’t copy pasted it from somewhere else.
Don’t fear of sending the message first
Don’t wait for the other person to text you first. If you come across a compelling profile, text them. They’d appreciate your effort, and you never know they might ask you out for your endeavor.
Tips for Lesbian dating
You are here because you need lesbian dating tips/advice, aren’t you? Well, I am here to advise you, obviously. After you have been introduced to someone, it’s time to go on a date. Sounds thrilling, aye? I have split the section into two parts – Before the D-day and During the D-day.
Before the D-day
Be honest with your feelings. Muster the courage to ask your crush out. Being open and honest solves most of the problems. Not all people can be honest and can lead their dates on. Also, don’t wait to be approached. If you like a girl, tell her. Yes, there’s always a chance of getting rejected, but that’s part of life. The fear of rejection shouldn’t put a stop to your love life. Take this scenario, for example:
Quite a few days ago, a girl talked to me about her case. She told me that she liked her female friend, but wasn’t sure if that girl would reciprocate her feelings. She was even unsure if her friend was into girls. My advice to her was to open up about her feelings for that friend and see what happens. Turned out, the friend didn’t see her that way but had been quite caring ever since. Expressing her feelings to her crush wasn’t fruitful, but she felt liberated and much better than before. You see why you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions and keep dying a hundred times pondering what-ifs.
Plan that date
Planning is everything! You just can’t pick a place half an hour before the actual date. Schedule the time so that it’s convenient for both of you. If you feel anxious, ask a good friend to accompany you when you are arranging the date location. Having someone who has your back is a great way to destress. If you think of a dinner date to a restaurant, then talking to the manager and the waiters will make things easier. Prefer a coffee date? Searching for the right coffee place is all you need. Show up early at your date and check if everything is in perfect shape. It will give you time to take a few breathes and land you on your date’s good books.
Manage your work schedule
It’s a serious turn off if you keep your date waiting while you are in your office, finishing your last-minute assignment. It’s also not cool to cancel or postpone your date because of your schedule. This creates an awful impression of you in front of your date. As a result, she might even ditch you altogether. The first date exists to impress your person of interest and not to make them lose their calm. Therefore, always clear the schedule, meetings, or an assignment beforehand. If you are unable to postpone the work, it’s better to talk to your boss about it. You can either take a day off or an early leave. But informing your boss would be more sensible.
Take a shower using a fragrant body wash. Shave away all the unwanted hair from your body. It’s better to moisturize your skin using lotions and creams. Wear your best clothes and dab some perfume onto your skin. Do some makeup and style your hair. A shower before date not only freshens you up but also lowers your stress level. So, ditch your dating blues with a relaxing warm bath.
As you reach the spot, take a few deep breaths. Tell yourself that it’s your day, and nothing will go wrong. If you feel stressed, call a friend and talk to them, it will make you feel better and less stressed.
During the D-day
Don’t feel hesitant to talk about yourself and your interest. Just because you find yourself boring doesn’t mean your date will feel the same way. Sometimes, to impress their date, a person agrees to everything. Have some self-respect and don’t agree on things you stand against just because your partner has a different opinion about it. Don’t be afraid to speak your minds, your likes, and dislikes. After all, the purpose of dating is getting to know each other.
Be a patient listener
Sure, you want to talk about yourself, but it’s also important to let your date talk. What are they interested in? What they found intriguing in you? What do they like to eat? – these can be some great conversation starters if you find yourself in an awkward position. Don’t listen to your date for the sake of listening. Immerse yourself completely in the conversations. Show her empathy and try not to judge or criticize. You can give your two cents, but don’t be preachy. The idea is to understand each other.
Don’t be pushy
Remember, you don’t have authority on her. Don’t push her to do anything. Things have to consensual, whether it’s a simple kiss or sex. Don’t guilt-trip your date if she doesn’t want to do something you are interested in. If she didn’t like the date arrangement and wants to head out, don’t force her to stay. Yes, she might have been rude, but you need to act calmly.
So these are my top lesbian dating advice for you. By the way, if you end up getting rejected, it doesn’t matter. You’d find someone better than before. Just don’t stop trying even though you have tasted rejection. Take time to heal, reflect, and start dating again!